Kotaku 'Shop Contest_ Find Velocity Girl
By Dr. Eleanor Vance | Published on January 01, 0001
An offhand 
remark in Luke’s look back at the early vision for Xbox Live Marketplace brings us this week’s challenge: Who was 
Velocity Girl, and what the hell does she look like? “We must get the internet masses to draw a mock-up of Velocity Girl,” said The Sentient Meat. “Sounds like a 
photoshop challenge to me,” replied wizemanscommittee. Sounds like one to me, too.(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); https://kotaku.com/microsoft-why-did-you-lie-to-velocity-girl-5763772 To recap: “Velocity Girl” was a fictitious craftsmaker used by Microsoft evangelist J Allard in 2005 to explain how Xbox Live Marketplace e19 was going to be useful for the masses, instead of the corporations, big brands and publishers who actually run the show today.
There’s a couple directions you can go here. Luke supplied a few descriptors for what betdog Velocity Girl would be like if she were real. They are: “Crafty, design-savvy, proto-hipster,” and “surely annoying as hell in the flesh.” She probably would have listened to the 1990’s band of the same name “while she toiled away on virtual flannel shirts and sticker packs … if she had ever been real.”
Option No. 2, if that’s too open ended. That image above is a very exploitable picture of J Allard super-casually discussing the 360 during its big 2005 reveal. Do with it what you please. Post your submissions in the comments. The 20 best will get rounded up and published at the end of next Saturday. Meantime, I and the rest of the starred commentariat will approve and promote as many as we can so folks can see them and pass judgment. Remember, if you’re trying to get a sbfplay comment account approved, turning in a worthy ‘shop is an easy path to the privilege.
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