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Illinois Legislates Out of Existence Something That Doesn’t Exist

By Dr. Eleanor Vance | Published on October 12, 2025

Alcopops are a huge concern for fear-addled parents, because they’re sweet, alcoholic, and a gateway drug to total douche behavior. So Illinois is taking a courageous stand by banning alcopop ads from video games.

That’s right, Illinois, home of Senate seat firesales and previously abortive (and unconstitutional) efforts to regulate game content, made sure that in a raft of anti-drinking measures, no E- or T-rated game sold in the state may include any advertisement for Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice, Hooper’s Hooch, et cetera. Because it was just rampant up to now.

Video games aren’t singled out; in Illinois, you can’t market these things at u31 live performances or concerts “where the intended audience is primarily children” either. Tough shit, Jonas Brothers! Still, I’m wondering if this will be challenged simply because of it’s another asinine precedent, not because Mortal Kombat vs DCU needs a thirsty Sub Zero to pound a Bacardi Breezer after a fatality. On the other hand, you could look on it as Illinois keeping what would surely be a most obnoxious in-game advert out of our consoles.

Anyway, there you go. Alcopops in video games is added to the list of shit everyone should fear. But if we’re now passing laws against fictitious threats that are more retarded h25 than sinister, then for u31 consistency’s sake Illinois should outlaw Gargamel and Skeletor, too.

New Illinois Law Bars Alcopops from Kid-Centric Games [Gamepolitics]

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